Moments

In everyone’s life, there comes a moment (or series of moments) that change us, forever. Now, in most cases, we can hear a statement like that and will automatically assume that some deeply dramatic scene would have ensued in order to bring it to pass. But that is not necessarily the case. It isn’t always some fiercely traumatic incident with tears and heartache. It isn’t always some wildly fantastic experience with butterflies in the stomach and soft music playing in the background. Sometimes, it just – is what it is.

For example, it happened for some of us when came to the knowledge that the cookies and milk that we’d so meticulously placed as a snack for Santa Clause, were really eaten by our goofy dad; His well intended attempt to keep us believing if we’re well behaved and followed all the rules all year long, that all of our wishes would appear under our Christmas Tree on Christmas morning. For others of us, it happened when we realized that the shiny nickels, dimes and crisp dollar bills found under our pillows in exchange for our baby teeth had not actually been placed there by some beautiful fairy with sparkling wings, but rather, a sneaky, stealth mom who has mastered the art of moving her children without waking them; Her method to soften the inevitable blow that comes from knowing that, in real life, the loss of things we cherish will so rarely come with a reward attached to it. Later in life, the moment comes when that best friend of ours gets into a better college – and suddenly we realize that we are more different than we thought. When our lover decides to pursue someone else, who is nothing like us, and we are left to wonder if they had been settling the entire time. Perhaps one of the most profound…. The most painful…. and most permanent…. is the moment when we realize that our parents – our perfect parents are a hero to us, but not without significant war wounds of their own.

I didn’t make you sad, did I? Good. I was hoping not, because what I’m really trying to convey here, is that we have all had a ‘moment’ when suddenly, our world – or a part of it – no longer made sense. But, we were able to bounce back from that moment and shape ourselves to govern our expectations and behaviors differently, based upon what we had learned – either through pain, pleasure, triumph, failure or disappointment.

Life is a series of lessons to be learned on a perpetual basis. Once we reach a point when we can no longer be taught, then we have reached the point where we have decided to shut down all of the remaining possibilities that life has to offer. The hardest lessons that we will ever be taught, are often the ones about ourselves…

To face the things in ourselves that we knew were broken, but we thought were fixed.

To address in ourselves the things that we have denied were there the whole time, in the first place.

The parts of us that might be awful, but we are so used to them that we assume that everyone else is crazy for calling them out.

The part of us that can’t handle not being the center of attention, and will do and say anything in order to be in the spotlight.

That part of us that can’t handle criticism.

The part of us that never wants to apologize.

The insecurity in us that plays itself out in humor.

The competitive part of us that shrouds itself in ‘support’, when we are really just keeping a close eye on those who we feel are doing better than us.

The part of us that needs to be desired – by whomever, lest we stop believing that we are attractive at all.

The part of us that cannot give a genuine compliment because we see it as an admission of a lack in us.

The gossiper that finds it easier to be inundated with the goings on of someone else’s life because ours is far too much to bear.

ALLLLLL of those things are hard to face… Shoot, some of it was hard to even write. But they must be faced and learned from, so that we are ALWAYS at our prime and so that those with whom we come in contact are always getting the best versions of us. Because if not, what is it all for?

Have your moment, and learn from it. Your future depends on it.